DOW - LINDA VALDEZ (ARIZONA REPUBLIC)

Wow - it's only MONDAY and I already have the DUMMY OF THE WEEK ...

In fact, I'm even closing out the contest because no one this week has a chance of topping ...

LINDA VALDEZ of the ARIZONA REPUBLIC!

In her latest whine, Linda is now saying that Jesus would have been a Democrat!

That Nazareth fellow would be a Dem today ...

My goodness - if a Republican were to go out and proclaim that Jesus would have been a Republican - you would have heard liberals like Linda screaming all the way down to Guantanamo Bay!

First, what kind of melodramatic drool is this? And what does Linda Valdez hope to accomplish by dragging Jesus into this mess? Most of the folks who believe in Jesus already have their minds made up as to what side of politics they are on. The ones who are on the conservative side surely aren't going to be swayed by Linda's sermon here. And the ones on the liberal side can only be driven from it!

But I can see Jesus as a Democrat - oh yes - clear as the light of day...

In fact, I see Jesus hovering over Howard Dean's shoulder as he screams and rants that Republicans are all "White Christians". Oh YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!

I can see Jesus hovering over Dick Durbin's shoulder in the Senate as he compares our Soldiers to the Nazi's.

I can see Jesus standing in a PRO-CHOICE demostration yelling and screaming his guts out - just outside the Supreme Court building as the justices debate partial birth abortion inside.

I can see Jesus filibustering a PRO-LIFE judicial nominee.

I can see Jesus hovering over Teddie Kennedy's shoulder on the Senate floor - as he tells us all that we, as humans, have every right to define when life begins according to our own calculations and convieniences - and not God's.

In fact, I can see Jesus cheering Ted Kennedy on as he committed his cowardly sins at Chappaquiddick and tried to cover up a young girl's death in order to preserve his own political viability.

I can see Jesus cheering Bill Clinton on as he handed Monica a cigar in the oval office!

I can see Jesus on the "vegetable oil" bus with Jane Fonda as she rants against the Iraq war - and Ted Turner's sexual appetite.

I can see Jesus nodding approvingly to the Democratic lawyers in the Florida panhandle who were throwing out military absentee ballots in the 2000 Presidential election.

I can see Jesus advising basically every Democratic politician in existence to condemn George Bush as a evil "war criminal".

I can see Jesus sipping tea and trading jokes with Rosie O'Donnell.

Yes - I can see all this.

WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!

I can't see ANY of this!!

This is how weird it's gotten folks. It all makes me ask the question - should folks like LINDA VALDEZ be allowed to publish? I think this article of hers must have been "ghost written" by Cher - seriously, the arguements in this paper are that incoherent.

Now, obviously I believe in Linda's right to write stuff like this. I'm only kidding above when I say otherwise.

However, I also believe in OUR RIGHT to say ...

THIS IS A BUNCH OF INCOHERENT HOGWASH.

So .... DUMMY OF THE WEEK - LINDA VALDEZ.

Here's your sign...